Dorothy: You're a very bad man!
Wizard: Oh--no, my dear, I'm a very good man; I'm just a very bad wizard.
Scarecrow: What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? And the courage that
you promised Cowardly Lion?
Lion: And Scarecrow's brain?
W: Why, anybody can have a brain--that's a very mediocre commodity. Back
where I come from, we have universities--seats of great learning--
where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they
think deep thoughts--and with no more brains than you have. But--they
have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of
the authority vested in me by the Universitatis Comitiatum E Pluribus
Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.
W: Doctor of Thinkology.
S: How can I ever thank you enough?
W: Well, you can't. (to Lion:) As for you, my fine friend, you are a
victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate
delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no
courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come
from, we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their
fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the
city. And they have no more courage than you have. But--they have
one thing you haven't got: a medal. Therefore, for Meritorious
Conduct, Extraordinary Valor, Conspicuous Bravery against Wicked
Witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the
Legion of Courage.
L: Shucks, folks, I'm speechless.
W: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know
how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical
until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Man: But I--I still want one.
W: Back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but good
deeds. They are called phila-- eh, phil-- um, yes, uh-- good-deed-
doers. And their hearts are no bigger than yours. But--they have one
thing you haven't got: a testimonial. Therefore, in consideration of
your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a
small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental
friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by
how much you are loved by others.