Words

Dorothy:   You're a very bad man!

Wizard:    Oh--no, my dear, I'm a very good man; I'm just a very bad wizard.

Scarecrow: What about the heart that you promised Tin Man?  And the courage that
           you promised Cowardly Lion?

Lion:      And Scarecrow's brain?

W:         Why, anybody can have a brain--that's a very mediocre commodity. Back
           where I come from, we have universities--seats of great learning--
           where men go to become great thinkers.  And when they come out, they
           think deep thoughts--and with no more brains than you have. But--they
           have one thing you haven't got:  a diploma.  Therefore, by virtue of
           the authority vested in me by the Universitatis Comitiatum E Pluribus
           Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.

S:         ThD.?
W:         Doctor of Thinkology.

S:         How can I ever thank you enough?

W:         Well, you can't.  (to Lion:)  As for you, my fine friend, you are a
           victim of disorganized thinking.  You are under the unfortunate
           delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no
           courage.  You're confusing courage with wisdom.  Back where I come
           from, we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their
           fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the
           city.  And they have no more courage than you have.  But--they have
           one thing you haven't got:  a medal.  Therefore, for Meritorious
           Conduct, Extraordinary Valor, Conspicuous Bravery against Wicked
           Witches, I award you the Triple Cross.  You are now a member of the
           Legion of Courage.

L:         Shucks, folks, I'm speechless.

W:         As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart.  You don't know
           how lucky you are not to have one.  Hearts will never be practical
           until they can be made unbreakable.

Tin Man:   But I--I still want one.

W:         Back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but good
           deeds.  They are called phila-- eh, phil-- um, yes, uh--  good-deed-
           doers. And their hearts are no bigger than yours.  But--they have one
           thing you haven't got: a testimonial.  Therefore, in consideration of
           your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a
           small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental
           friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by
           how much you are loved by others.